


When We Are Here Alone (Something Inside You Shows)

by feelssogoodinmyarms



Category: Frühlings Erwachen | Spring Awakening - Frank Wedekind, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Femslash, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character of Color, Lesbian Sex, Lesbians, NSFW, Past Rape/Non-con, Vaginal Fingering, i assume the fandom knows that by now but i wanna be sure, i love her so much and after my last fic about her she deserves something nice, ik im not the only one who dreams of something like this happening to me, ilse deserves only the best, latina ilse, she's from comet on its way which is a deleted sa song, suzie's pretty much an oc not gonna lie, suzy's lesbian but she's got internalized homophobia :/, the malers are fucking loaded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 20:01:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20087944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feelssogoodinmyarms/pseuds/feelssogoodinmyarms
Summary: Ilse was in advanced algebra with kids two years older than her. It was the day after winter break ended when Ilse was sat next to Suzy Maler.Suzy had sandy blonde hair like her brother, and calm blue eyes and nervous fingers that drummed on her thigh. She smelled like flowers and weed and kept a nail file in her back pocket. Her lips were always so glossy and Ilse wanted nothing more than to kiss them. Suzy whispered questions about the homework to Ilse, who tried to answer them without tripping over her words.





	When We Are Here Alone (Something Inside You Shows)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ya'll guess who's posting her first ever smut fic? So this idea was kind of inspired by the rp blogs on tumblr (i havent been active on anna's in like a year rip). i love the idea of ilse getting to have her first sexual experience with a girl and it being healthy and loving. i might make this a series bc i love ilse and i would love to continue to explore her character. Title is from [Night Go Slow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acYpxd17eIc) by Catey Shaw, a lesbian bop if i do say so myself. Enjoy!!

There was a time when Wendla and Thea were still chasing Melchior, before Moritz’s attempt, when Ilse had just broken away from all the terrors of living at home and was living downtown with the artists, when Ilse started to like girls. Truly, Ilse had always liked girls, but now she was starting to explore these feelings. Girls were soft and sweet, and they had the prettiest laughs. The way they flipped their hair and smiled was enough to make Ilse melt. She wanted a girl to cuddle and spoil and kiss. It wasn’t fair the way most girls fawned over Melchior and Bobby. Girls like Thea and Wendla could do so much better than that.   
  
Ilse was in advanced algebra with kids two years older than her. It was the day after winter break ended when Ilse was sat next to Suzy Maler.   
Suzy had sandy blonde hair like her brother, and calm blue eyes and nervous fingers that drummed on her thigh. She smelled like flowers and weed and kept a nail file in her back pocket. Her lips were always so glossy and Ilse wanted nothing more than to kiss them. Suzy whispered questions about the homework to Ilse, who tried to answer them without tripping over her words. 

Ilse found herself thinking about Suzy more and more. She barely noticed Ilse outside of algebra, but those couple times where she’d wave or nod at her in the halls, Ilse got a flutter in her chest. It wasn’t a scared flutter, like when her father had that look in his eyes at bedtime. It was a nice flutter, like warmth in her chest. 

When she heard that the Malers were holding an end-of-the-year party at their McMansion, Ilse didn’t hesitate to go. She pulled on her fishnet stockings and a tight purple dress in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, Suzy will look at her and see more than a freshman from her algebra class. 

* * *

The party felt amazing, the lights and the loud music and the hot air and the desperateness of it all. Ilse was dancing with Martha Bessel when she felt eyes on her. It was Suzy Maler, leaning against the wall, in a red dress. The lights danced on her face and she looked like an angelic devil. Ilse practically floated towards her. 

“Having fun?” Suzy asked, a tempting smirk on her lips. 

“Yeah, it’s great.”

There was an awkward pause and Ilse thought that might be the end of it.

“Wanna dance?”

Ilse felt a rush of heat go through her body and nodded. 

They started dancing like Ilse had danced with Martha, hand holding and spinning, like friends. Suzy kept moving closer until they were holding each other. Ilse felt Suzy start to grind on her and gasped. 

“Is this okay?”

“Yes, do it again.”

Ilse had never grinded before. Suzy was smiling at her and it all felt so good. Her lips were so glossy and begging to be kissed; Ilse wanted nothing more than to kiss them. Everything was moving so fast and she loved every second. Before Ilse knew it, those glossy lips were pressed against her own. 

“Do you want to go upstairs?”

Suzy wasn’t like Ilse’s father. Suzy was a girl and she was soft and she would stop if Ilse told her to, right? Ilse wanted this so bad, she had wanted to touch Suzy for months. 

Suzy had Ilse pinned against the king mattress in her bedroom upstairs. It was the prettiest bedroom she’d ever seen, with a canopy bed, a flat screen tv, even a fireplace. However, Ilse couldn’t focus on that when Suzy was kissing her so intensely, her heart beating faster and faster. As her mouth moved lower, Ilse tensed. 

“What is it?” Suzy asked, her brow furrowing in concern. 

“Nothing.” Ilse tried to brush off the fear she felt. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Suzy moved to sit next to Ilse. 

“No, I want to.” Ilse put her hand on top of Suzy’s and moved her face closer. 

“I won’t be like him. You want me to take it slow?” Suzy asked. 

Ilse smiled with relief. For the first time, she wanted the sex that was about to happen. It was going to be with Suzy Maler, she'd be gentle. Ilse didn’t have to convince herself this was okay because she already knew. She nodded excitedly. 

Hands gently touched her breasts through the purple dress while glossy lips left tiny marks on Ilse’s neck. 

Soon the purple and red dress were in a pile on the floor, along with the fishnets. 

Suzy moved her hand to one of Ilse’s breasts, now uncovered. She thumbed over the nipple, making Ilse’s back arch and her mouth hang open. 

“Good?” Suzy asked, their bodies now pressed together. 

“Yeah” Ilse breathed, all excitement and lust. 

Then Suzy’s mouth was on Ilse’s boob. She moaned in pleasure and clapped her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. Suzy took her mouth off to tell her,

“It’s okay. I love hearing those pretty sounds.”

Ilse was squirming beneath Suzy as her mouth moved further and further down. She didn’t hold back the gasps and moans anymore. 

“May I?” 

“Please.”

Suzy’s hands slid down to the soft curve of Ilse’s hips before her mouth went to work. Suzy’s tongue felt marvelous on Ilse’s clit, she sharply inhaled when Suzy started lapping at it. She slipped a finger inside Ilse, and then another. Ilse moaned again and gripped the bed sheets. 

“God, please don’t stop, that’s so good.” Ilse moaned as Suzy’s mouth sucked at at her clit, her orgasm coming way too fast. 

Suzy’s fingers curled inside Ilse and her hips began to buck in want, which Suzy chuckled at again. Ilse would have been embarrassed, but it all felt so good and she was too close to stop. Ilse tried and tried to hold on, she wanted it to last longer, to no avail.

“Oh God, Suzy, I-” Ilse moaned as her hips started bucking and her orgasm washed over her. She felt her whole body relax into the soft mattress. Suzy laid down next to Ilse as she basked in her post-orgasmic glory. 

“How was that?” Suzy asked, the prettiest smile on her lips. 

“Amazing.” Ilse sighed. She felt like she was floating on a cloud. She didn’t even realize when Suzy got up to get them nightgowns. 

“Here.” she tossed a blue silk nightgown to Ilse. Even in the dark, Ilse could see it was gorgeous. Too gorgeous to sleep in.   
“Oh, I-” Ilse wanted to protest. She wasn’t a well off girl like Suzy, she was dirty and lived with those crazy artists. Her parents didn’t care about her and she lied about her address so she could still go to school. It felt wrong to put something so pretty on. 

“Come on, I insist. You’re my guest.” 

Ilse was going to tell her that she really didn’t deserve this, when Suzy piped up again. 

“Maybe we should get a shower before bed. Follow me.” 

Even though the artists had painted her nude so many times, Ilse still felt awkward walking with no clothes on to Suzy’s bathroom. The bathroom in question was huge and so was the shower itself. The water fell from the ceiling and Ilse seriously wanted a tour of the whole place another time. Ilse dotted Suzy’s neck in hickeys and came two more times in the duration of the shower. 

As the two girls laid in bed that night, Ilse stared up at the ceiling and thought. Suzy looked like an angel, curled up on Ilse’s chest. She had convinced Ilse to wear the silk nightgown and it felt amazing, but not right. Ilse would be thinking about how she didn’t deserve all this luxury and was ruining it for those who deserved such fortune, but she had bigger fish to fry. 

Was she gay? Ilse had never truly liked boys. Moritz Stiefel was nice and Hanschen Rilow wasn’t too bad either, but Ilse thought of them as more of friends. She liked kissing Suzy far more than the boys she had kissed. Girls were so much prettier and sweeter. They were just better over all. 

Ilse didn’t want to be a lesbian. It was supposed to be wrong to kiss girls and touch them, but it felt so right; it didn’t feel gross or dirty at all. Maybe being gay wasn’t so bad. If there was a hell, she’d surely go there anyway after everything she’d done at the artist's colony. Ilse drifted off to the sweet smell of Suzy’s shampoo and the thought of doing this again. 

Suzy had Ilse chauffeured home in the morning, after an amazing breakfast in bed. She knew future hookups would not be as amazing and this was totally unfair to anyone else she’d screw. Ilse couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be Suzy’s girlfriend. It probably wouldn’t happen and she tried not to get her hopes up. Suzy would not date a dirt poor delinquent with three friends like herself.

Unfortunately, Ilse was right. She put a “Stanley” with a red heart next to it in her Instagram bio the next week. Ilse tried not to be crushed but her heart did feel heavy. She kept the blue silk nightgown as a memento from that night. She wore it whenever she needed to feel special, and imagined herself living comfortably with a beautiful girl by her side. After that night, Ilse knew she could let herself go sometimes, and that she preferred sex with girls. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ye! Uhh talk to me about this? Ya'll know i love for comments/kudos. next im thinking i'll write about how/when ilse decides to leave home, learning to talk about it, leaving priapia, moving into adulthood, etc. if anyone has suggestions please hmu in the comments or on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/feelssogoodinmyarms)


End file.
